christianity

A Godly Woman: Anger & Profanity

I was recently talking with someone and they were saying how difficult it is to let go of anger. I agree. Sometimes, I believe we allow anger because in reality, it can feel good to let off a little steam. It can be the trickle down affect…I was yelled at, so I will raise my voice to those in lower positions.

Another reason we get angry (mom’s are prone to this) our expectations aren’t being met. The house is a mess, the dishes aren’t done, the kids are too loud, etc. I was guilty of this when my kids were younger.

Maybe you have a coworker who is difficult to get along with. Or, someone in your life who just rubs you the wrong way, and your hackles get up every time they walk in the room.

So what should our attitude be? I love going to scripture and seeing what the Bible says. I did this a few days ago because I am dealing with someone right now who hasn’t been very pleasant. I had anger growing inside of me and I didn’t like where those feelings were headed.

Ephesians 4:22 & 24

“Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy.”

These verses are great for reminding us that we have been made new in Christ. I love verse 24 where it says “Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” We need to go to God daily to be refreshed and renewed.

Let’s look at more verses:

Ephesians 4:26

“And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”

What happens when we get angry at someone? We start to “vent” or so we say. Which, can easily turn into gossip. If we let the anger take control it leads to all kinds of bad things. In verse 27 it tells us not to go to bed angry. We need to talk to the person we are angry with before the next day comes. This can be difficult to do. It requires getting rid of our pride and talking through the situation and even possibly having to hear things about ourself that we aren’t going to like.

With anger we can let our tongue get away from us, which we talked about last time. James 3 explains taming our tongue. But, I want to look further in Ephesians.

Ephesians 4:29

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

It seems like in this day and age cursing has become the norm. I didn’t grow up in a house that cussed. So, every time I hear profanity, it sets me off. Unfortunately, I hear it more often than I’d like. Movies, television, adults, kids, it’s everywhere. I have heard people say, “It’s just a word.” True. But, what is the meaning of that word? And do you really need to say it every five seconds?

The Greek word for profanity or corrupt is Sapros, which means rotten, worthless, bad, corrupt. I had to do a fruit inspection in my own life and realized I don’t always say the nicest things, especially when I am angry. Anger and unwholesome talk go hand in hand.

I pray I will be like the above verse and have things that are good and helpful, and encouraging come out of my mouth.

Our next two verses sum everything up really well.

Ephesians 4:31 & 32

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tender hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

So, to review what we have looked at so far: A Godly Woman is…

  • Pure
  • Respectful
  • Diligent
  • Controls her tongue
  • Controls her thoughts and emotions
  • Is not angry
  • Doesn’t let profanity or unwholesome talk come out of her mouth

Dear God, thank you for these biblical truths that you revealed to me. I pray that you will enable me to go to you daily and hear what you have to say. May I become the Godly woman you desire and may my speech be fragrant to all those around me.

christianity

A Godly Woman Part 2

Here is the second part to being a Godly woman. We are looking at what the Bible says about how we are to act and behave; what characteristics a woman that claims Christ should implement in her everyday life.

So far we learned a godly woman is:

  • pure
  • respectful
  • diligent
  • controls her tongue

Today we will add:

  • controls her thoughts and emotions

2 Corinthians 10:5

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Sometimes we can let our thoughts and emotions runaway from us. It may be when we are laying in bed and a thought comes to mind, which triggers other thoughts that aren’t good. They can range from the “if only” thought, to thinking about the wants and desires of others and their things, to hateful thoughts about being wronged in some way, and then to desiring someone other than our spouse.

We see in this verse we are to take every thought captive. We need to bring each thought before the Lord and ask Him to enable us to stop the emotions that are tied to those thoughts.

Philippians 4:8 says “…whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

I love this verse! I learned it when I was a little girl and it has been one that I go to often, especially now that I am older and my thoughts can get away from me. The Bible is so fantastic because it not only tells what we aren’t to do, with a big list of no-no’s, it tells what we are to do and how to do it.

Jesus went to the Father daily. He had a relationship with God. That is our example:

Matthew 14:23 “After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.”

Mark 1:35 “Very early in the morning , while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”

When we have ungodly thoughts we need to get on our knees and pray. When anxieties overtake our thoughts and emotions, pray. When we have thoughts about wanting things that don’t belong to us, pray. When we think about getting back at someone who has said or done something detestable to us, pray. When images from movies, internet, or billboards enter our minds, pray.

I guarantee if we just take a moment to stop and pray, our worldly thoughts and emotions will turn to things that build up, not tear down.

Dear Heavenly Father, let my desires be your desires. Help me to see others as you see them so I can treat them in absolute purity. Help me to not let my emotions get in the way of the work that you have for me. Please take away my anxiety and fear and think on things that are pure, lovely, honest, and just. Amen.

christianity

A Godly Woman Part 1

I have been asked on multiple occasions to be a mentor to young women. I am always excited when asked to do so because it shows that these women are seeking something different than what this world wants to offer. They are usually looking for someone to come along side them and to speak up; to show them what being a Godly woman looks like, because face it, we all know what we see on T.V. And instagram is not what our soul desires to strive for.

Where is the best place to start? The Bible. I plan on sharing what I have learned over the years with you. I don’t claim to be an expert. I just want to share what is on my heart.

Titus 2 verses 3 to 5 is a great place to start.

3. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,

4. and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,

5. to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

As I am now considered an older woman, I feel I am called to teach the younger women to do just what these verses say.

We are to be pure, respectful, and diligent. We are called to love our husbands and children; to be kind, self-controlled. Do we need to say everything that comes to mind? No. When I want to speak out and I know it may be hurtful, or not have the other persons best interest at heart, I try to stop myself. I seek God and see if there is a different way to say it, if at all. In doing this one act of stepping back from the situation, I have seen my own life change in not needing to feel like I have to speak all the time. Are there times when I do speak up? Absolutely. Sometimes I have had to be very truthful with people, but I try to do it in love.

This leads me to the next point. A Godly woman controls her tongue.

James 1:19-27

James 3

Specifically James 1:19 and 26 say James 1:19  Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; James 1:26  If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

We are to keep our tongue in check. James 3 is a whole chapter on the tongue and how it can give blessing and praise to God one moment and in the other moment curse and reject people who were created by Him. (James 3:9)

Controlling our tongue doesn’t mean we stay silent and hold a grudge, giving our offender the silent treatment. Having spirit-led self control, means we give control of ourself to the Spirit, so we no longer feel like we have to say something. It’s controlling our actions as well, knowing that our waiting in silence will affect our physical actions, so we can still show love as we wait patiently to see when and/if we should speak up.

James is one of my favorite books in the Bible. There are some meaty words of declaration and ways to live a godly life in this book. It’s a small book with a powerful punch. I recommend reading it this coming week and see how you can take its truths to heart and watch as it transforms your mind and soul.

Reminder: a Godly woman is pure, respectful, diligent, and controls her tongue.

There are many more aspects of a Godly woman and I plan on taking the next few weeks to write about them.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the examples that you have given us in your word of Godly women and what being a righteous woman is all about. May we seek these truths out and show us where we are lacking.

marriage

The Two Shall Become One

Our daughter is married!!! Thank you to all who helped to make this day happen, we couldn’t have done it without you!

God seems to bring us full circle to places that we have lived before. This time, he took us back to Julian, CA where we truly learned the message of grace in the Bible.

It was so great to be there among old friends and memories. Setting up for the wedding, I had many emotions that surfaced. I looked across and saw the pool where our son was baptized. I saw the place where my husband taught his first sermon about the dead lifeless moon reflecting the sun and as a result, shines for all to see. Lastly, I remembered our daughter, Sarah asking Jesus into her heart when she was only three years old, by Lake Cuyamaca.

It was a wonderful wedding and it was such a joy to see friends and family participate. Most exciting was to watch Cole and Sarah be united as one and take the first steps of their new life together.

A few days before the wedding, I read a verse that I found fitting. It is Psalm 45:13,14:

13The bride, a princess, looks glorious in her golden gown.

14In her beautiful robes, she is led to the king, accompanied by her bridesmaids.

15What a joyful and enthusiastic procession as they enter the king’s palace! (NLT)

How awesome that Jesus is waiting for us, like a groom waits for his bride!

marriage

Refreshing Springs Through the Valley of Weeping

With our daughter’s wedding upon us and friends and family are beginning to arrive, our house is quickly being filled with chatter, laughter, and a little chaos.

Although I am extremely blessed and excited for this marriage to happen, I can remember a time when going to weddings was extremely painful for me. I was going through my separation and divorce and even the thought of going to a wedding made my stomach turn.

I tried to be happy for the couple, who were so in love that nothing could hold them back. But, I wasn’t feeling it. I struggled. A lot. I remember being at a small bridal shower and crashing to the floor because I had a grand-mal seizure. I was rushed to the hospital, where my friends stayed with me for hours to make sure everything was okay. Well, I wasn’t okay-mentally or physically. I just ruined a fun party and I felt horrible for the bride-to-be as her special day ended up in the ER as a result of me.

Now, many of my friends have experienced the loss of their spouse. I feel for them. Even though I haven’t been through the pain of becoming a widow, I do remember feeling alone and seeing joyful couples all around me and wondering if I would ever be happy again. Through all of the pain, I had to hold on to biblical truths. I love Psalm 84:2 “I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the LORD.”

This is not our home! This sin-filled, selfish world is not our resting place. Oh, how I so look forward to the day when I get to see my Savior face to face. No more sorrow. No more suffering. Peace and love will fill me every moment.

It’s through the difficult times that we get our focus off of us and turn to the one who brings joy unspeakable and we experience Christ in a way that we couldn’t fathom.

In a few days I will stand with my daughter and watch her marry the man of her dreams. This is a time of rejoicing! I am no longer sad at weddings. I am joyful that God created a union between a man and a woman that would cause us to no longer be alone and to walk out the trials and joys of life together. I am especially thankful that God gave me my current husband, who is my soul-mate. We would not be having this wedding without God, who healed my epilepsy, gave me new life in the way of three children, and has given me streams of living water through the trials.

“What joy comes for those whose strength comes from the LORD…when they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs.” Psalm 84:5,6

family, marriage

Letting Go…

It’s been an emotional last few days for me. Wedding plans are being made, we have DIY projects all over the living room, and the dress has arrived!

I am excited for my daughter in this new adventure she is embarking on, but it has been stirring all kinds of emotions. I find myself reflecting on milestones in Sarah’s life…first tooth, first steps, first heartbreak.

Learning to let go and let her grow up. I am trying to give advice when she asks and not take over when I see something that can be done better.

We have had many laughs along the way and a few tears. Imagine my surprise when she asked me to be her Matron of Honor! The flood gates opened and the waterfall of tears began. What an honor (thus the name) to be there right by her side on one of the most important days of her life.

I sometimes find myself thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. How did she do it? Letting go…watching Jesus do what He did, to be persecuted and beaten? I’m sure she cried out to God for comfort, pouring out her heart to the creator, the one who could stop the atrocities from happening to her son.

Now, I am not comparing our daughter’s wedding to crucifixion, even though marriage does require self-sacrifice and self-denial. I am just reflecting on moms in the Bible who have had to “let go” of their children. I think of Abraham’s wife, Sarah, and the Mother of Moses. Hannah also comes to mind, who kept her promise and gave her son to the House of Lord where he learned under Eli. All are amazing women, who saw the bigger picture and didn’t stifle their children.

I am so looking forward to that day when I see our daughter walk down the aisle, to hand her off to the man we have prayed for all these years.

I pray that as she leaves our nest she will learn to fly together with her spouse in unity and strength!

Eph 5:31  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Eph 5:32  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Eph 5:33  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

christianity, family, Uncategorized

Abalone Shells and Sand Dollars

When I was a little girl I used to think what if all the glistening sand on the beach was my money? I would be one wealthy little girl! Oh, what I would do with all that cash!

Today my husband and I went on a walk at our local beach, here in Mexico. It was a beautiful warm afternoon. I smiled as I looked down at my sandy toes and saw the gold colored sand twinkling on the path before us. I suddenly remembered my thoughts as a little girl and thinking about the sand being money.I laughed as my thoughts on money have changed quite drastically as an adult.

As we continued on down the beach, we noticed some small sand dollars. They were so unique and each one a little different. We walked farther and came across an abalone shell which was even more glorious as it’s rainbow of color shone in the sun.

After looking at these treasures I, again, thought of things that I used to think as important or precious (house, car, a good hair day, cool jeans, etc.) and what I see as treasures to me now. Quite a different list.

Today my treasure was spending time with my husband, holding his hand on the beach, talking about life. Seeing the sand dollars and the abalone shell and being reminded that God put those along our path for my pleasure. It gave me joy to see such small things that were God created, not man created.

What is your treasure today? What are you thankful for?

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven…for where your treasure is there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21