If you’ve ever read the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman you know that we show our love via five different ways. Those five ways are touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, and gifts. We also receive love through those same ways.
For me the two that stand out most are quality time and words of affirmation. My husband, on the other hand, is touch, touch, and more touch! Some of you wives know exactly what I am talking about. He thrives on being touched. The love language of touch for me however, is on the bottom of the spectrum.
Therefore, I have to consciously make an effort to touch my husband. When we were first married, I had to really think about touching him. Now, that we’ve been married over 21 years it has become more natural.
As I was seeking out a way to remind myself to make the effort to touch my beloved husband, I realized I eat three meals a day. I then had the wonderful thought of giving him three kisses a day. At first it wasn’t hard to do, I simply remembered the three meals and would give him a kiss when we woke up in the morning, another one when he left for work and one more when he came home from work. He loved it and began to even speak my love language more. I could see a huge change in him and he seemed so much happier and willing to do things around the house that I wanted done.
But, as is often the case life moved on and so did my excitement for showing my husband I loved him. My three Kids got in the way and drained my desire for kissing or giving a gentle hand-hold to my husband. I felt like I was constantly being touched by everyone around me and being that this was my least favorite love language I began to draw away even more. Our relationship was beginning to suffer.
I knew something had changed but couldn’t figure out what. As I was pondering I suddenly remembered I hadn’t been showing affection to my husband. I knew I had to get back on the band wagon and be consistent in showing my love for him. When I thought of ways to get back on track I thought, “Wow, I can remember to do things that are far worse than showing love to my main man. Like doing dishes and making the bed every morning.” Kissing is way more fun than any of those things!
A new thought process began to change in my brain waves. Thus the three kisses a day has been a main stay in our marriage. It has changed everything and I encourage anyone who struggles with showing touch to their spouse (if that’s their love language and not yours) to try the three kisses a day. It works!