Being refined when you don’t like confrontation.
(Taken from my book, Beautiful Dependence)
…As we drove up the long, winding dirt road to the small cabin, I wondered how our lives would change. I knew this move would provide change in all of us for sure, but what I didn’t know was that I would be threshed like the threshing of wheat and, that our trials would be numerous. However, it would be through those various trials that I would become the clay jar with a great treasure in it shining Christ for all to see (2 Corinthians 4:7).
Thinking back to the first time we drove up to our small cabin in the woods I remember being so excited about the adventure ahead of us. The first year was our hardest year physically. We had to completely change our way of life and learn to do things in a much different way than our 21st century lives taught us. However, I learned that life, even though work was harder, was more simple.
I was being squeezed spiritually and emotionally. Now, I am not one that likes confrontation. I try to avoid it at all costs. Sometimes this is a good thing. It helps to diffuse trivial arguments. However, confrontation is sometimes needed. When I look at Jesus’s life, he didn’t go looking for confrontation, but he didn’t shy away from it either. He spoke truth when truth needed to be spoken, knowing the truth would be a blessing to those who would listen.
As we were living in this simple way of life, I was realizing that I had some big issues that I needed to deal with. I was seeing how negative I could be even in the midst of blessing, I was afraid of being hurt, I was pulling away from my husband in hopes that I wouldn’t have to confront my issues.
God loves me too much to leave me where I was. When I thought about the woman caught in adultery, He said to her, “Go and sin no more.” (John 8:11) He confronted the sin, but encouraged her to no longer live in sin. God had begun the refining process. With my husband’s help and after finally crying out, the process started. There was nothing left to do but get into the word daily. I had to. It was the only thing that gave me peace. Slowly, I saw changes happening in my attitude toward life.
The threshing floor is a process of beating the wheat to receive a harvest of grain. Without the beating and hammering of the wheat there is no harvest. I am now experiencing the harvest!
Thank you Father, for refining me. I am free of worries and fears because you took the time to thresh me. I can see each day as a gift and every sunrise and sunset put before me is a present that I enjoy you unwrapping for all to see.
(To read exactly how I became free please order the book, Beautiful Dependence.)